Where to Call Home

So, admittedly I am a "transplant" to San Diego. The dreaded tourist who decides to stay, which in many ways is true as a visited San Diego three times before I (or at the time, we) decided to move here.

The big question is when does San Diego truly become home. When someone asks what you are doing for Thanksgiving a common answer is "I'm heading home for the holidays" even though they have been living in a new place for a year+.

It is hard for me to think of San Diego as home. I think of a little town called Las Cruces, NM as home, not so much where I lay my head but where I feel comfortable. Part of this stems from my career and college. In Las Cruces, a town of 90000, I was someone. I was deeply rooted into the university. Not only was my dad the head of the Geography Dept and a short time the A&S undergrad dean, I had also built many of my own connections that ranged all over campus.

I had graduated with two degree, worked all over Las Cruces, knew tons of people. Just before I left I had two job offers that payed well. I was also offered to teach web design and writing at the community college. Maya would have received a job teaching English at her high school of choice. We had lots of friends. My family lived there, Maya's was a 3-4 hour drive away.

Housing in Las Cruces averaged between $100,000 - $200,000 for a nice house and Maya and I would have been able to buy one within a year. Yet with all this going for me I decided I didn't like Las Cruces and wanted to move. I ended up visiting four cities: Austin, San Diego, Minneapolis, and Detroit. I quickly came down to Austin or San Diego and San Diego won out. Maya and I packed all our stuff and just moved out here.

My entire life has been turned inside out and now nothing is clear. My biggest regret is that if we had stayed in Las Cruces Maya and I would still be together (as much of are fighting stemmed from money). Slowly my regrets about moving away and breaking up are shrinking away and once they are gone, then I'll truly be able to call San Diego home.